manila-boracay: there and back again

back in the island--shortly upon my arrival almost abruptly i concluded to a decision to book my flight en route manila together with my mom from her business trip here (next week). earlier on when i had just walked in my city home, i had not the clearest answer to my folks when asked what i had planned for. naive, irresponsible and childish it may had seemed but believe me-- i had a plan.

i just needed to feel it out. before i may come to a conclusion, before i may plan. and there was just one surest event in my manila agenda-- to seal my consultancy deal (the steadiest client cash flow) with my former artist/event management company (which i had nailed neat and clean).

but after 6 months--some things never change and somethings have. i almost forgot that i had put a 6 month quota on myself at the start of all this. its a lovely place-- iknow. i cant always come back when i want to and take people back home with me to share what ive found. being back home felt like i was always the same person and simultaneously otherwise. living in paradise island has taught me:

1. simple living

my room and my things --day in and day out i could not keep myself from going through the stuff in my room--albeit the entire house. what never felt like a lot now feels like too much! i got sooooo much things that i dont need that i am excited than ever to move back home and put up a garage sale. 

our kitchen--unabashedly without my mother's consent (yet eventually so) i had put our kitchen apart and back together. to have me living in my moms house would mean full household authority and domineering meant well.

when i flew back into my (boracay) apartment equally i found a lot among my things that i dont really need anymore. i am taking you home and out you go to the yard sale in a few weeks!

2. i know what i want to be and what i want to do for the rest of my life

i want to be a publicist and a good one of course. day and night, little or much, in between procrastinations i read up or write down some stuff that would make good practice and challenge. even if its just to keep me in the loop and picking my brain for avenues to discover and brand my own sense of style to the profession. i ve tried tons of things in the creatiive department career. im a fine arts graduate and for some what the hell am i doing here and trying this out. artists need not to be translating craft traditionally. theres an art to all things.

3. in relation to number #2

i know myself more. i might take a few seconds to find the right adjectives to describe myself but i know what i'll go for and i know what i wont faster than the speed of light. knowing myself has given me so much courage to speak my mind and in the event people were to argue, i'll know where i stand and how to put them in their place ;)


4. i cannot be with a man who

thinks he's an alpha male just when he is only a simba. real alpha males need not to prove themselves to you. neither are they threatened by you (oh most importantly god almighty!). theyll just pick you up and show you how its done. it can be any age! they give you tons of affection as much as they give you space (hehehehehehehe).  furthermore, i cannot be with someone who's perfume is girlier than mine. i cannot be with someone is not open to the world-- a prep.

5. i will not be with a man just for the hell of having it.

i value my happiness. my happiness is my vanity. a high maintenance vanity.

6. i love my family.

theyre just cooler than ever quirks, smirks and all. we dont need much. just each other. i am so grateful for my mother. i am so grateful for all of them. their worries worry me sick and break my heart like a trainwreck out of hell.  i have broken my moms (and dad's) heart in countless ways imaginable by just being me-- but they always managed to tell me that its ok. i may seem like the irritable impatient and defensive little one but my love for them is immeasurable <3 <3

7. talk shit less and be a mean girl for a good reason

bully the astonishingly stupid and rude. defend the affected and stand up for what is good. i reprimand not go out of hand.

*****

is that it? i know theres more.

all in all. ive never felt so secure. it hasnt been always a bed of roses living here and adjusting to the new life that i have made for myself down here in the beach. i have gained weight and it grosses me to know that the aging has kicked in and i'm borderline my limit-hence  the renovations have begun.

thats my bestfriend in the entire planet and consequently my imoto (little sister in japanese) --rozie delgado. my first night out in manila. in this particular friendship we always end up in the wildest situations possible.  here she is hurting her arm from a completely senseless skateboard fall. while i on the other hand said the craziest shit all night (that i regret and am totally embarrassed of to this minute). when we got to the emergency room, the nurses couldnt keep themselves from gawking and laughing at the passed out ME while rozie got herself checked and x-rayed. whats more-- I DONT REMEMBER TAKING THIS PICTURE!

the given:  we both had a little too much fun.